After listening to Lisa Rendall speak last week it really made me think. I definitely know I don't live each day to it's fullest. I don't appreciate all that I should. I don't tell my husband or children that I love them every single day. My kids have left for school angry or upset with me and I didn't do anything to make it better because I was just as frustrated. We all know we need to slow down and take time to smell the roses... so why don't we?
Every day someone loses a loved one. Every day is another year since someone passed away. I've always felt that one of the hardest parts of losing someone you love is life. How do you continue on with life when you feel like your whole world has fallen apart? When it feels wrong to continue on with the mundane day to day tasks? Taking those steps to everyday life means letting go just a little bit more, it takes you further away from that person that you just don't want to let go of.
You hear a lot of people say they wished they could've said goodbye. Both of my Grandma's are gone - one passed away when I was seventeen and the other 5 years ago. The first I didn't get to tell her goodbye and I was with my other Grandma in the hospital when she died. For 10 years I kept having dreams about my first Grandma and in the dreams I was always trying to tell her I loved her. Now logically I know that she knew I loved her - but there's something different about saying I love you to someone on their way out the door to work and saying I love you to someone you know is dying.
We are all going to die and we need to treat each day as if it might be the last (sounds like a country music song I know). Tell them you love them every day and always remember that it's not goodbye, it's see you later. It might be work, a weekend hockey tournament, a 2 week vacation... or it might be a car accident. There are no parting words that will make anyone feel better about losing someone. The pain will never completely go away - but I take some comfort in knowing that I don't have to say goodbye because I know I'll see them later... and they will be just as excited to see me as I am to see them.
2 comments:
Thank you Shauna for that post! Just a couple of days ago, it was the 2yr anniversary since my nephew, Justin, passed away from a car accident. Justin was 19 yrs old, my sisters oldest child of 3 kids. 2 yrs and it still feels like just yesterday…I sometimes wonder if that feeling will ever go away? I look at his picture and shake my head in disbelief, still. After you lose someone, you feel guilty for pretty much everything…a moment when they were not in your thoughts, a laugh with a friend, having a good time with your own healthy children…the list goes on. At that moment, nothing matters anymore..who cares if the dishes are piling up, laundry is starting to smell, the floors are dirty..you just want to stop everything but no one else is stopping!! I remember going to the grocery store a few days after and I felt like yelling at everyone to just ‘Would you just STOP!! Don’t you guys realize that my nephew is dead???’ No..they are living their life and doing their thing, which they have every right to do. Things do not stop because something happens in our life that is tragic. One thing I did learn was that everyone has a story and has gone thru something.
I look back and think of the last time I seen Justin, ‘IF’ I only knew it would have been the last, I wouldn‘t of left…I would of hugged him more…talked with him more…there are a lot of ‘what ifs’ in life. I am thankful that God does not let us know what is to come. We would not want to live like that. I am also thankful to God that because of his son, Jesus, I WILL see my nephew again!! The sad part is that we won’t see everyone again. My prayer is that each of you will be able to meet Justin one day in Heaven! You’ll love him…he is an amazing guy, full of life, loves to dance, being the center of attention and making people laugh!
‘Till we meet again!
Thank you for your comment and sharing your feelings Helen! With my friend's niece dying and knowing that it's been two years since Justin died and then listening to Lisa speak the other day...wow, a lot to take in. It got me thinking and my Grandma has been on my mind a lot.
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