I had a breakdown last night and I don't like to admit that to anyone so I figured I might as well blog it.
Note to self... I AM NORMAL.
I am a Mom and I stay home. I'm a stay at home Mom. I know I made a choice to stay home but does that mean I have to like it all the time? What happened to Shauna? If someone asked me to talk about me could I do it? Well, don't answer that but seriously - how do I define myself? How do YOU define yourself? Can you see past the toys, laundry, dinners, sports, kids, husband, work, house and find your soul - what makes you, well, you?
Why do I look forward to Tuesday mornings? Because I know that every other woman in that room would understand EXACTLY how I am feeling and nobody would judge. How do you stop doing something you like? Where do you draw the line and say no (and I'm not talking about your kids here)? I think we all need to take a step back and figure out what's really important, decide what we want to do about it and then (and this is the hardest part) follow through.
I am now sitting here deciding whether or not to post this blog. Yikes. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna click the "publish post" button below I mean I'm still typing aren't I? There's something about baring your innermost thoughts to people you don't know but most of you reading this know me and I have a tendency to put on a good show - life is great, um... sometimes it is.
If you're going to respond to this post (apparently I'm going to post it because as metioned before I'm still typing) it can't be anything related to sorrow or sympathy or "it'll be okay we all go through it" kind of things. I want you to tell me what makes you YOU and how you remember what makes you YOU. A therapist once said to me, "When you're on an airplane and the attendents are demonstrating what to do in case of an emergency think about the oxygen masks... put yours on first and then help your children or others around you." Wow, someone actually telling a Mom to think about herself first... but the kicker is it's true.
1 comment:
Reading that first paragraph...it's hard to define what makes me ME. Funny because I was talking today to my hairdresser, we were talking about getting a tattoo. She was showing me hers and explaining to me what it all represented to her. She asked me if I would ever get one done and what I would do if I did. First off..I would love one, but I am way too chicken to do it!! Secondly..all I could think of was something that had to do with my kids...that's it. That is what defines me. KIDS. I don't have a hobby or something in my life that is significant to just me. But, you know what?? I am SO thankful that I have my kids that make me ME. There isn't much that defines me besides my family...but I am okay with that. There will come a day when I can do more for me...a day when my kids are older...but, this is where I am right now in my life and I love it!!!
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